Heart to Heart

I just want to say that I’m kind of sick of people not talking about mental health. I have bipolar 1 disorder and I hate hiding it. It has made me a better person finding this out and going through struggles. When people ask me about it, even though I feel some sense of shame (like when I was manic), I force myself to tell them the god given truth because people deserve to be properly educated and enlightened. I’m so fucking sick of the stigma. I’m so sick of stigmas in general, stereotypes, racism, homophobia, any kind of thing that is a prejudice.


I’m sick of being ashamed for a chemical imbalance in my brain that I can’t help. I will have it my whole life. It’s like if I had diabetes. I can’t help it. I’m sick of people getting freaked out or when they stop talking to me when they find out.

Before I was manic I had a ton of friends. Now I’m down to one, he’s my boyfriend and I love him, but that shit kind of hurts. Abandonment sucks, especially when you need people. The girl who claimed to be my best friend stopped talking to me when I was hospitalized. She blocked me on fb, deleted my number and blocked it, and didn’t give me an explanation or visit me. Like damn girl, I already have enough problems. You don’t have to add to it.

Whenever I make a joke about being bipolar like, “You better not make me mad, I’m bipolar” people get really freaked out, even if they know me and know I’m joking. I’m sick of uncomfortable looks when I talk about it. I deserve to laugh, and you can’t take that away. I deserve to poke fun at myself and see the silliness in the situation.

You know what?

I’m proud of the fact that I have bipolar disorder. It has taught me about compassion, self-respect, true love and friendship, and the importance of self advocacy and responsibility. But It is a piece of me, not my whole self.

People are should not be defined by their skin color, sex, gender, illnesses, likes, dislikes, age, religion or whatever.

People are people.

We don’t have to like every part of someone to love them or have respect for them.

We don’t have to judge.

If we are to be judged let it not be by appearances or assumptions, but by our character.

We can learn to be mindful, yet still stick to our core values.

Talk about who you are and don’t be afraid.


6 thoughts on “Heart to Heart

  1. Really lovely post, and it is so true. I am working on a project trying to get people sharing their stories about mental illnesses caused by trying to be perfect. I would love to hear from you if this is something you recognise. Visit othersideofperfectionism.wordpress.com if you’re interested.


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